My brother changed his name to this cute boy’s and texted me saying he was in town. I was in bed, but I gave myself this pep talk saying, “I’m young, I should totally get up and meet this guy.” So I took a shower and everything, and then I found out it was my brother. It was the worst kind of confusion. I cried but then I laughed because, come on, it was brilliant. So for revenge I put up a bunch of ads for all kinds of things on the Internet with his number on it, so he was getting calls from total perverts—and people genuinely in the market for a shiny red bike.